Hello everyone,
I've been flitting around job sites this month looking for a few more hours. I don't want to, I want to fill my hours with writing and my head with stories, but I got scared. What happens if I get an unexpected bill or (God forbid) have to take one of my cats to the vet? I'll tell you, I might not be able to pay the rent and I'm terrified of being homeless again, I can't face that, not again.
So with all my years (11) to be precise, in the care industry, all that time spent training and getting qualified to management level, I thought I'd put it to good use and so looked at going back into it, just part time, maybe community care. There are always jobs available in the care sector, community or nursing home, well, I was in for a shock.
Because I've been out of the care world for over a year now, all my training, certificates and qualifications count for nothing, I would have to start from the bottom again. Even my NVQ's are all useless now. I spoke to several agencies and a care home manager, all of whom said I would have to retrain from the start; with the basics. They did all assure me, that because I already have the qualifications and the knowledge, that it wouldn't take me long to go through the training again, maybe a year or two; needless to say, I declined.
All that time I spent training, all those wasted years, my evenings and weekends spent sitting in front of my computer doing stupid training courses instead of doing what I really wanted; all wasted now because of new legislation. I'm too old to retrain, can't even be bothered, all that extra work and my writing on hold while I do pointless courses to teach me how to wipe a 95 year old shitty bum.
Guess I'll keep looking; maybe supermarket work, check out or shelf stacking, anything to keep the wolf away from the door and as it's February, (the month I've been waiting for) I'm checking my emails about three times a day, hoping and praying to hear from the agency. Part of me is excited, part terrified, I know when I see the email I will be terrified to open it, what if it says 'NO?' What if it says YES?' Hopefully by the time I write next I should have an answer; one way or the other, but until then, I will keep writing and hoping.
good luck to everyone who shares my passion, may 2017 be our year.
Sunday, 5 February 2017
Friday, 30 December 2016
A good idea or a stupid mistake
Hello everyone,
My novel has been out in the big wide agency world for a few weeks now, I do miss it, but to keep from worrying about it, I'm full on with my second one and have reached chapter five already.
A few weeks ago, four to be precise; I did a strange thing. I handed in my notice on two of my four jobs. I have worked out my months notice on both of them, so as from the new year I am only working 35 hours a week instead of over 60.
You see, I have an image in my head; me sitting in my office at home (in my nice new house by the sea) spending all my time writing. No more working for someone else, I'm going to be my own boss. Obviously I still need money to pay the rent and bills etc and I will have to cut back,(drastically) I've always wanted to do this, to be a fulltime writer and if I don't try, I'll never know, so I decided in my infinite moment of wisdom, that it was now or never; so now it is.
This could be the best moment of my life; the best decision I've ever made, or it could be the most stupid thing I've ever done, either way I won't know unless I try.
I know the agency said it was a 12 week wait, maybe more, which takes us up to sometime in February, but I still can't help checking my emails with excitement every day ...just in case.
I've also decided now is the perfect time to give up smoking, (let's face it, I'm never going to afford it now) I'm not sure what's got into me, I feel happy and hopeful for the future. I have no men in my life anymore (apart from my son and he doesn't count) my girls are happy, my cats are happy and so finally, am I.
Here's to 2017; let's hope it's a great new start for everyone,
HAPPY NEW YEAR
My novel has been out in the big wide agency world for a few weeks now, I do miss it, but to keep from worrying about it, I'm full on with my second one and have reached chapter five already.
A few weeks ago, four to be precise; I did a strange thing. I handed in my notice on two of my four jobs. I have worked out my months notice on both of them, so as from the new year I am only working 35 hours a week instead of over 60.
You see, I have an image in my head; me sitting in my office at home (in my nice new house by the sea) spending all my time writing. No more working for someone else, I'm going to be my own boss. Obviously I still need money to pay the rent and bills etc and I will have to cut back,(drastically) I've always wanted to do this, to be a fulltime writer and if I don't try, I'll never know, so I decided in my infinite moment of wisdom, that it was now or never; so now it is.
This could be the best moment of my life; the best decision I've ever made, or it could be the most stupid thing I've ever done, either way I won't know unless I try.
I know the agency said it was a 12 week wait, maybe more, which takes us up to sometime in February, but I still can't help checking my emails with excitement every day ...just in case.
I've also decided now is the perfect time to give up smoking, (let's face it, I'm never going to afford it now) I'm not sure what's got into me, I feel happy and hopeful for the future. I have no men in my life anymore (apart from my son and he doesn't count) my girls are happy, my cats are happy and so finally, am I.
Here's to 2017; let's hope it's a great new start for everyone,
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Sunday, 20 November 2016
A kiss Goodbye
Hello everyone
My novel is finished, 82.000words. It has been read and reread so many times and edited to within an inch of its life and has now finally been sent out into the big wide agency world to fend for itself.
It took me three days to write a cover letter and nearly half a trees worth of paper before I was finally satisfied. The synopsis was relatively easy and took two tries; the first detailed everything I wanted to say, while the edited version was stripped down to the bare bones AND I got it down to a single page.
I chose my agent carefully. After referring to THE ARTISTS AND WRITERS YEARBOOK and hundreds of agencies on line, I selected the five I considered to be right for me and my genre before whittling it down to the last two. The one I chose; MADELEINE MILBURN, said they read everything that is sent to them; so blowing a kiss to my MSS I hit the send button and wished it good luck.
I received an acknowledgement within the hour, which I thought was very nice; it was only a standard thanks for submitting, but at least I know they got it, but I'm now going to have a nail biting 12 week wait, which takes us up to February to find out if its been accepted.
I have now started my second novel; it was the only way to stop me worrying about the first one, although I must admit, it's never far from my mind. I see books on the shelves of Waterstones and imagine my book sitting there proudly on the shelf for all to see. 12 weeks is a long time; three months and as Christmas will soon be upon us and everything will grind to a halt, I'm sure it will take longer, but as they say, patience is a virtue, it also drives you crazy.
That's about it for now; good luck to anyone who has sent their MSS out into the big wide world.
My novel is finished, 82.000words. It has been read and reread so many times and edited to within an inch of its life and has now finally been sent out into the big wide agency world to fend for itself.
It took me three days to write a cover letter and nearly half a trees worth of paper before I was finally satisfied. The synopsis was relatively easy and took two tries; the first detailed everything I wanted to say, while the edited version was stripped down to the bare bones AND I got it down to a single page.
I chose my agent carefully. After referring to THE ARTISTS AND WRITERS YEARBOOK and hundreds of agencies on line, I selected the five I considered to be right for me and my genre before whittling it down to the last two. The one I chose; MADELEINE MILBURN, said they read everything that is sent to them; so blowing a kiss to my MSS I hit the send button and wished it good luck.
I received an acknowledgement within the hour, which I thought was very nice; it was only a standard thanks for submitting, but at least I know they got it, but I'm now going to have a nail biting 12 week wait, which takes us up to February to find out if its been accepted.
I have now started my second novel; it was the only way to stop me worrying about the first one, although I must admit, it's never far from my mind. I see books on the shelves of Waterstones and imagine my book sitting there proudly on the shelf for all to see. 12 weeks is a long time; three months and as Christmas will soon be upon us and everything will grind to a halt, I'm sure it will take longer, but as they say, patience is a virtue, it also drives you crazy.
That's about it for now; good luck to anyone who has sent their MSS out into the big wide world.
Thursday, 27 October 2016
The End;
Hello everyone
Yes, that's it, I have finally finished my novel; all 300 pages, now comes the hard, eye strain bit of editing it to death. I have been editing as I go, so it's really just a case of tidying it up and re-reading to make sure it all makes sense.
I aim to get it all finished, edited, checked and polished by the end of this month, which as from yesterday, gives me a week. I have found an agency to send it to, after checking the writers and artists year book and hundreds of google pages for agents, I think (hope) I've found the right one.
I have also made a new friend online; his name is Dan and he lives in America. We have been chatting for a while and seem to have a lot in common. He loves horror and anything spooky. He has sent me lots of great pictures, which inspire my imagination; I want to write, write, write, but real paid work gets in the way.
I have already got a second book planned and third and forth. I take my writing with me inside my head and when I am doing my boring, monotonous paid job, I work on my book, piecing things together and planning the story.
Writers often complain that they have nothing to write about; I have the opposite problem, too much to write about. I have so many books and short stories in my head, it's just finding the time to get them out and onto paper.
Anyway I'd better get back to it; I have two spare hours before I have to start my next job, good luck to everyone in the writing and living world.
Yes, that's it, I have finally finished my novel; all 300 pages, now comes the hard, eye strain bit of editing it to death. I have been editing as I go, so it's really just a case of tidying it up and re-reading to make sure it all makes sense.
I aim to get it all finished, edited, checked and polished by the end of this month, which as from yesterday, gives me a week. I have found an agency to send it to, after checking the writers and artists year book and hundreds of google pages for agents, I think (hope) I've found the right one.
I have also made a new friend online; his name is Dan and he lives in America. We have been chatting for a while and seem to have a lot in common. He loves horror and anything spooky. He has sent me lots of great pictures, which inspire my imagination; I want to write, write, write, but real paid work gets in the way.
I have already got a second book planned and third and forth. I take my writing with me inside my head and when I am doing my boring, monotonous paid job, I work on my book, piecing things together and planning the story.
Writers often complain that they have nothing to write about; I have the opposite problem, too much to write about. I have so many books and short stories in my head, it's just finding the time to get them out and onto paper.
Anyway I'd better get back to it; I have two spare hours before I have to start my next job, good luck to everyone in the writing and living world.
Sunday, 28 August 2016
Three Little Words
Hello everyone;
I have now received my very first comment on my blog page and I couldn't be happier.
I always check expectantly, hoping, praying, but the comment box is always empty. Imagine my surprise this time when it actually had something in it. Three little words. That was it; no more, no less, and what were those three little words; NEVER GIVE UP. Someone (you know who you are) actually cared enough and took the time to comment on something I had written and whoever that unknown person is, I THANK YOU.
Those three little words, no more than 11 letters made my day. I was ready to give up. After coming nowhere in the competition, I felt a failure, a reject, I was wasting my time, but those words gave me hope, when nothing else had.
I have unboxed my book, dragging it back out from the cobweb shrouded darkness under my bed and am now racing towards the finish line. I will complete it; if only for my own pleasure and satisfaction. I do have a couple of agents lined up and I will contact them when it's completed. Until then I shall press on; the end is in sight and I can't wait to type those two little words.
Well that's it for now; I have a novel to finish.
Good luck to all fellow scribblers.
I have now received my very first comment on my blog page and I couldn't be happier.
I always check expectantly, hoping, praying, but the comment box is always empty. Imagine my surprise this time when it actually had something in it. Three little words. That was it; no more, no less, and what were those three little words; NEVER GIVE UP. Someone (you know who you are) actually cared enough and took the time to comment on something I had written and whoever that unknown person is, I THANK YOU.
Those three little words, no more than 11 letters made my day. I was ready to give up. After coming nowhere in the competition, I felt a failure, a reject, I was wasting my time, but those words gave me hope, when nothing else had.
I have unboxed my book, dragging it back out from the cobweb shrouded darkness under my bed and am now racing towards the finish line. I will complete it; if only for my own pleasure and satisfaction. I do have a couple of agents lined up and I will contact them when it's completed. Until then I shall press on; the end is in sight and I can't wait to type those two little words.
Well that's it for now; I have a novel to finish.
Good luck to all fellow scribblers.
Tuesday, 23 August 2016
Tuesday, 19 July 2016
Self Doubt Sets In
Hello everyone,
Well I didn't win the competition, but then I didn't expect to and yet, somewhere in the cobweb shrouded recess of my mind, hope lies there expectantly. Thanks to that competition I now have serious doubts about my novel; the synopsis was read by a professional and they didn't want it, so does that mean that no one else will want it either?
I am so close to the end and yet I fear finishing it. What if I've wasted all that time and effort for nothing. I have not looked at it in over a month; should I bother finishing it or just shred it? I am so tempted to give up my dreams of becoming a writer, I have so much normal, paid work at the moment that I'm having to turn it away, so what's the point in chasing a dream?
I have thrown a lot of old writing material and stories out; just didn't see the point in keeping them to gather yet more dust under my bed. I even held my novel in my hands; all five hand written books and was ready to tear them up and bin them and yet, I couldn't do it. My dream is so strong and no matter how many times I've tried to crush and kill it, it just won't die, It's like a disease or a pesky summer insect, always there gnawing away at the back of my mind. You won't know if you don't try. You won't know if you don't try. On and on, droning at the back of my mind.
I did think about the self publishing route, but it just doesn't feel real, my spiteful mind says; you're not good enough, you had to do it yourself; no one likes your stories enough to want to buy them and then I get the crashing, neon pink FAILURE sign
doing the rounds inside my head, bumping into stories that will never be given life.
Why do I have this compulsion to write? Was I born with it? Am I talented? Or afflicted? I wish I knew. Either way I know I will continue to write; I can't help it.
Until next time good luck to all would be writers.
Well I didn't win the competition, but then I didn't expect to and yet, somewhere in the cobweb shrouded recess of my mind, hope lies there expectantly. Thanks to that competition I now have serious doubts about my novel; the synopsis was read by a professional and they didn't want it, so does that mean that no one else will want it either?
I am so close to the end and yet I fear finishing it. What if I've wasted all that time and effort for nothing. I have not looked at it in over a month; should I bother finishing it or just shred it? I am so tempted to give up my dreams of becoming a writer, I have so much normal, paid work at the moment that I'm having to turn it away, so what's the point in chasing a dream?
I have thrown a lot of old writing material and stories out; just didn't see the point in keeping them to gather yet more dust under my bed. I even held my novel in my hands; all five hand written books and was ready to tear them up and bin them and yet, I couldn't do it. My dream is so strong and no matter how many times I've tried to crush and kill it, it just won't die, It's like a disease or a pesky summer insect, always there gnawing away at the back of my mind. You won't know if you don't try. You won't know if you don't try. On and on, droning at the back of my mind.
I did think about the self publishing route, but it just doesn't feel real, my spiteful mind says; you're not good enough, you had to do it yourself; no one likes your stories enough to want to buy them and then I get the crashing, neon pink FAILURE sign
doing the rounds inside my head, bumping into stories that will never be given life.
Why do I have this compulsion to write? Was I born with it? Am I talented? Or afflicted? I wish I knew. Either way I know I will continue to write; I can't help it.
Until next time good luck to all would be writers.
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