Hi Everyone,
I saw an advertisement on television the other day about gambling awareness and it hit me hard, not because I gamble, (I can't afford to) but because I write.
I have loved writing all my life and because I am striving to get published, all the fun has gone out of it. I don't even enjoy it anymore, the whole process has lost its spark. I have been concentrating so hard on getting every last detail perfect for a prospective publisher, that I literally lost the plot.
I became obsessed with getting published; it was everything. If I couldn't get published then I was obviously no good at writing, so I might as well throw in the towel, then I saw the advert.
I took a long hard look at my writing goals and projects and thought, does it really matter if I don't get published? So what if I'm not successful; I'm obviously not good enough to be published, but I'm good enough for me.
So I've put all ideas of success and being a published author out of my head, I'm only making myself miserable chasing something that's clearly out of reach. The book I've been working on has been thrown into the archive storage; maybe I'll look at it again one day, maybe I won't. Who cares? Not me, not anymore.
I wrote a short story over the weekend. It wasn't perfect, there were obvious mistakes and a bit of dodgy spelling and punctuation, but I had fun writing it; the spark of enjoyment was igniting again and when I read it back, it was good, my heart had gone into it instead of my head. It had passion and genuine feeling. It will never go anywhere; it's meant for my eyes only.
I maybe a crap writer with no chance of ever being published, but I love to write and that's what I'll continue to do. Life's not about being rich, famous and recognised, it's for living and being happy, doing the things you enjoy and that's good enough for me.
Until next time
Follow your dreams, chase your desires . . . but only if it makes you happy.
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